4 Leadership Lessons confirmed by my Belgian Malinois puppy, Augustus
I am a complete cliche - I got a pandemic puppy. In addition to being a fun partner and reason to get outside, he has confirmed so many lessons about leadership in real time.
After a personal tragedy this past Fall, and realizing that most days I wasn’t getting outside until 8pm, my husband and I acted on our casual musing that one day we would get a dog - and brought home a black Belgian Malinois puppy in December.
Augustus Robicheaux is my first dog. If you google this breed, they come up on the list of dogs to NOT get if you are a first time dog owner. They also come up on military sites, as the Navy Seals who found Bin Laden did so with a Malinois named Cairo, and John Wick fan sites, as Halle Berry’s character in Chapter 3 stole the show with her masterful training of her two sidekicks. My husband, who has raised several dogs and worked with Malinois while in the service, would not consider any other breed.
So, as someone who loves a good challenge, I have taken to training Augustus with commitment, vigor and lots of research. This is important as Belgian Malinois are intense, intelligent and extremely high-energy. Left untrained and unengaged, they can be destructive, aggressive and depressed.
Kind of like a high-performing team.
Reading books about how best to raise this breed has been an interesting exercise for me, as someone who is dedicating more time to learning about leadership, organizational performance and health. With every lesson about how to train a Belgian Malinois to keep them happy, loyal and engaged, I have been reminded of leadership lessons I’ve picked up throughout my career and recent training.
This realization crystallized further after a recent discussion with a founder who said he did not think it was important to set a direction for his team and that he did not care whether or not they felt supported.
How incredibly sad and short-sighted. And reminds me of neighbors with unruly, always barking, untrained dogs. I’m not mad at the dogs (ok yes on Sunday mornings it’s annoying) but saddened by the environment they’ve been brought into.
Without risking insult to any current or former colleagues or direct reports, I see how these lessons cross over - from how to manage high-performing individuals to how to raise a family friendly Belgian Malinois. (Note - this is not about raising a working Malinois for police or military - I have no idea how to train for that).
Here are the lessons that I’m reminded of on our walks and play sessions throughout the day:
SUPPORT / even when things go wrong
The training process with any puppy is hard, especially when you’re dealing with a highly-intelligent one. You must go in knowing that the training process will be challenging and be prepared for mistakes and set-backs as difficult but necessary steps in the learning process.
It is how you, as leader/trainer, deal with the mistakes that will set the tone for the relationship and also for how quickly the lessons land. The more supportive you are, the more understanding you show, the better the experience on both sides. As they feel more supported, they will learn more quickly and show off proudly how much they have improved.
You must be supportive ESPECIALLY when things go wrong, like peeing all over the room. Augustus had one accident his first night, which we totally knew was going to happen. But we made sure to set a schedule, monitor his behavior and get him outside when he needed to - which got him on track to be housebroken very quickly. Then a month later, he had a bad accident and literally peed all over the room we were training him in. I could have just gotten mad at the accident, and believe me - I started to. But I then realized this was not like him. He had never done this before and looked genuinely sad and embarrassed about what had happened and snuggled me extra hard after I cleaned up all the mess. When I stepped back for a moment, I realized something was wrong and there must have been a glitch somewhere. So I snuggled him back, assured him everything was going to be ok, and went to the internet to search for clues. Again, I’m a first time dog owner - so I was relieved/worried to see that this behavior indicated he may be sick. The vet confirmed the next day that he had a bladder infection, likely thanks to all the deer droppings he had so gleefully been chomping on (despite my best efforts to pull him away. I’m more vigilant now).
LESSON: I could have yelled at him, which would have made him feel worse. Instead, I stood back, realized something was wrong, and took the steps to fix the situation.
2. DIRECTION / where you’re going, let them decide how
As leader/pet owner, you must set the direction - or else who knows where you will end up.
But setting the direction does not mean dictating every step of the way. Especially with new puppies, you have to prepare for multiple stops, distractions, barking parties and detours.
It also means knowing that you won’t get that far every day - at first. One of the most humbling lessons with Augustus was realizing that puppies don’t just go for walks. They don’t patiently stand at the door while you put the harness on them and they don’t understand yet how to walk in a straight line. At first I was embarrassed when Auggie would pull or refuse to walk - but I remembered an important lesson: to never give up on him.
So for every walk, I show up open, intentional and calm to get him used to the harness, excited to go on a new adventure and to make a little more progress each day. Knowing that the more I set up the situation for him to enjoy, the quicker he will learn to walk like a good dog.
Our proudest moment was a week after getting Augustus. We took him on our standard early evening walk and wanted to test how well he knew his surroundings and if he could take the lead. So we got to the turn-around point and said, “Auggie, take us home.” We kept the leash loose and walked where he led us. Our neighbors must have thought we were crazy as we shouted “YES! We ARE home!” and hugged and gave him many treats.
LESSON: Yes we set the direction, but after supporting and setting him up for success - he got us where we needed to go.
3. LOOSEN UP the leash
This is a hard one, because it doesn’t happen right away and is a trust experiment between the dog and the human. The leash represents control, which no dog truly wants. But it is necessary, especially in a suburban environment.
As much as some control is required, too much control has quite the opposite effect: rebellion. I won’t paint myself as a perfect dog owner (or manager) and have learned this the hard way. While I had read the books and watched the videos to prepare for leash training Augustus, actually doing so was a whole new experience. Most days I was open and intentional. But real talk in 2020/2021, there have also been stressed out, time-poor days when I just needed him to go for his walk, do his business and then get home. And those were the days he sensed my distraction, my stress, my impatience - and did exactly the opposite of what I was asking of him. I was that woman being pulled down the street by my big, strong dog. And he didn’t like the experience, either.
So I reread the books, rewatched the videos, and learned that the ideal situation is to let the leash be loose, hanging like a J shape. And to do this, you need to set up the bond between you and your dog to be more balanced, trusting and fair. I started walks by telling Augustus which route we were taking (we keep it varied to keep it exciting for him and us) and rewarded him frequently and in abundance when he was walking at a good pace to show him what success looks like.
I also made it about a partnership. Instead of “Heel,” which I find too authoritarian, I say “Walk With Me” as the command. I do this audibly and often (again, ask my neighbors) so that he knows he’s doing a good job. He knows what success looks like. He knows I’m in this with him, by his side, getting to where we want to go.
LESSON: If you stick with it and make it a partnership, the dog will understand that there is a bit of control there and will respect you for it. If not, you won’t be going anywhere.
4. TREAT THEM & bring joy not anger or fear
As much as I’d like to think I am a major reason that housebreaking, leash training and overall obedience training has been successful - my husband reminds me often that it is really all about the treats. And not just the organic, grain-free, free range meat treats I buy him. But it’s also the exuberant praise when he does a good job, the mid walk hugs, the belly rubs and ear scratching that he so loves. This keeps him going, this shows that he’s doing a good job, and this fills him with pride.
I know this because I’ve seen the opposite. As mentioned above, I’m not always the perfect dog trainer. I’ve been distracted and stressed out and lost my cool. And the more I lost my cool and yelled at him for pulling me (on ice, no less) the more he did the bad behavior. And the less he wanted to snuggle at the end of the day.
It only took a couple of times for me to realize that I’m making myself miserable when I don’t find the strength to be patient, to be forgiving, to understand my ability to change the situation by showing commitment, compassion and grace.
We can all think of bosses and managers who have shown this dichotomy. The bosses who yelled and screamed and blamed and shamed. And the bosses who were gracious, forgiving, took responsibility for problems, and showed humility. Who did you thrive with? Which behaviors have you taken with you as you’ve progressed throughout your career?
Auggie and I can guess.
As we have all gone through so much over the past year, I find these lessons even more important for individuals and leaders to consider as we emerge out of this period and define a new way to work, to manage, to lead and show up.
How are you supporting your teams? And yourselves?
How are you setting direction - with trust in your teams to find their own way?
How much control are you exerting? Or are you empowering your teams to walk with you?
And most importantly - how are you treating your teams and yourself?
It’s also to acknowledge that so many have struggled this past year, have gone through disruptive life changes, and felt the huge range of emotions - all while continuing to show up, lead and execute. I know I have - with a puppy named Augustus by my side.
And in my final cliche, Augustus has his own Instagram here in case you’d like to track our training together.
